So about this scientist thing. . .

. . .it's starting to get a little rickety.

I got my first Bio test back of the year and I didn't do too well at all. It's actually the lowest I ever got on a Bio exam. This breaks my string of uprising grades in Bio since the beginning of last year. I really thought I was going to nail this one, but I missed the mark real bad. It's times like these one has to stop, make a "status report", reorganize everything, pick your targets and then dive in again. You never should lose sight of your objectives, or else you end up doing nothing playing with your dick all day.

But the more I'm progressing through college the more I've realized that I need to improvise my plans. Such is the way with all things. It's never good to have a strict plan. I think you should have only a vague outline with room for improvisation.

Ever since high school I've felt thrown into a Cold War against the smarter kids, the elite. Whether they be hipsters good at English or Asian kids in the science classes. Actually, since middle school to be exact. This is no different in college. Some teachers are secretly biased. But then I realized that's how everything is. That's how they want it to work. I've long since pushed away that glorious desire to be up there. To keep up with the clubs and groups - to do what? So I can have some mark on something, to be in some prestigious group picture and shake hands, so that grad schools can be impressed?

No, sorry. I don't feel like playing clubhouse. I just want to do my work, pursue my interests. I don't care if I get a medal for it.

I have a greater desire to just get my hands dirty, go rogue. I wish we really just came out of the Dark Ages and science began to rise. Those early days were fun. Guys would just look at things, stroke their beards and murmur, "I wonder. . ." and then just play around with stuff. Their labs would be a mess, with tubes and contraptions lying around. There were no boards or members or rules and regulations. There were just pioneers paving through the unknown.

I want to go rogue with a lot of things. I have no passion at the moment because everything around me is works so slow and obscure. So much red tape to weave through. If only I had a secret lab somewhere and I would just experiment on whatever I wanted.

At least I'm going to do the radio show legit from now on.

I thought this was interesting: http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20101013/wl_asia_afp/sciencespecieswhales