So many people had shit go down. I didn't have that much personally, but I was still bummed out after meeting this professor.
One of my friends is still breaking down after a break-up with some douche. I've been trying to tell her how college doesn't have to be the best time of your life. That's the media talking. And that being happy doesn't mean having a man and a stable relationship.
Then another friend is dropping a class. That sucks.
Then this other girl I know is having relationship issues, so I steered her in the right direction.
Then an old buddy needed help with an essay because he's going into college next year. It's a big step and I know exactly how overwhelming it can be. And irritating.
It's just been a weird day. I'm only 20 and I've long been passing things on to people, giving them a reason to continue. I feel like I'm 80. But there's so much more to do.
I hate it though when I have to help people. I'm going to be honest. It's not that I hate DOING it though. I hate it mostly because of the things I say. I don't believe I'm a genuine person. So I hate it when people praise me. I try hard to keep my ego down. I don't acknowledge it. I wouldn't want people to praise nor criticize me.I mean, criticism is good but I'm not an extreme fan of it either.
But as I was saying. I sometimes am paranoid that I'm just a mash-up of things I've seen and admired. I'm just reiterating. I'm really nothing but a reciter. That's a philosophical argument I've always been obsessed with. Are we really who we are because of who we are? Or because of what's around us? But even if it's the latter, doesn't that mean that at some point down the line there were genuine people?
I try not to worry over words so much.
I'm so goddamn tired though right now. Lately, I've been really crunching time over things. I met the president of the school the other day. That was cool. I just wanted to get my name out to him, but mostly it was to address this activities club I'm in.
Anyway, I'm off for the night.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
So about this scientist thing. . .
. . .it's starting to get a little rickety.
I got my first Bio test back of the year and I didn't do too well at all. It's actually the lowest I ever got on a Bio exam. This breaks my string of uprising grades in Bio since the beginning of last year. I really thought I was going to nail this one, but I missed the mark real bad. It's times like these one has to stop, make a "status report", reorganize everything, pick your targets and then dive in again. You never should lose sight of your objectives, or else you end up doing nothing playing with your dick all day.
But the more I'm progressing through college the more I've realized that I need to improvise my plans. Such is the way with all things. It's never good to have a strict plan. I think you should have only a vague outline with room for improvisation.
Ever since high school I've felt thrown into a Cold War against the smarter kids, the elite. Whether they be hipsters good at English or Asian kids in the science classes. Actually, since middle school to be exact. This is no different in college. Some teachers are secretly biased. But then I realized that's how everything is. That's how they want it to work. I've long since pushed away that glorious desire to be up there. To keep up with the clubs and groups - to do what? So I can have some mark on something, to be in some prestigious group picture and shake hands, so that grad schools can be impressed?
No, sorry. I don't feel like playing clubhouse. I just want to do my work, pursue my interests. I don't care if I get a medal for it.
I have a greater desire to just get my hands dirty, go rogue. I wish we really just came out of the Dark Ages and science began to rise. Those early days were fun. Guys would just look at things, stroke their beards and murmur, "I wonder. . ." and then just play around with stuff. Their labs would be a mess, with tubes and contraptions lying around. There were no boards or members or rules and regulations. There were just pioneers paving through the unknown.
I want to go rogue with a lot of things. I have no passion at the moment because everything around me is works so slow and obscure. So much red tape to weave through. If only I had a secret lab somewhere and I would just experiment on whatever I wanted.
At least I'm going to do the radio show legit from now on.
I thought this was interesting: http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20101013/wl_asia_afp/sciencespecieswhales
I got my first Bio test back of the year and I didn't do too well at all. It's actually the lowest I ever got on a Bio exam. This breaks my string of uprising grades in Bio since the beginning of last year. I really thought I was going to nail this one, but I missed the mark real bad. It's times like these one has to stop, make a "status report", reorganize everything, pick your targets and then dive in again. You never should lose sight of your objectives, or else you end up doing nothing playing with your dick all day.
But the more I'm progressing through college the more I've realized that I need to improvise my plans. Such is the way with all things. It's never good to have a strict plan. I think you should have only a vague outline with room for improvisation.
Ever since high school I've felt thrown into a Cold War against the smarter kids, the elite. Whether they be hipsters good at English or Asian kids in the science classes. Actually, since middle school to be exact. This is no different in college. Some teachers are secretly biased. But then I realized that's how everything is. That's how they want it to work. I've long since pushed away that glorious desire to be up there. To keep up with the clubs and groups - to do what? So I can have some mark on something, to be in some prestigious group picture and shake hands, so that grad schools can be impressed?
No, sorry. I don't feel like playing clubhouse. I just want to do my work, pursue my interests. I don't care if I get a medal for it.
I have a greater desire to just get my hands dirty, go rogue. I wish we really just came out of the Dark Ages and science began to rise. Those early days were fun. Guys would just look at things, stroke their beards and murmur, "I wonder. . ." and then just play around with stuff. Their labs would be a mess, with tubes and contraptions lying around. There were no boards or members or rules and regulations. There were just pioneers paving through the unknown.
I want to go rogue with a lot of things. I have no passion at the moment because everything around me is works so slow and obscure. So much red tape to weave through. If only I had a secret lab somewhere and I would just experiment on whatever I wanted.
At least I'm going to do the radio show legit from now on.
I thought this was interesting: http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20101013/wl_asia_afp/sciencespecieswhales
Sunday, October 10, 2010
NYC COMIC CON!!!!!!!11111oneoneone
ZOMFGWTFBBBQSAUCE!!!!
Amazing time yesterday at the NYC Comic Con. First of all I went as Big Boss from MGS. The old school Big Boss though, in the trenchcoat and with white hair. It was impossible to get from point A to point B without being stopped by someone shouting, "BIG BOSS! IT'S BIG BOSS! CAN WE TAKE A PICTURE?"
I was surprised how some girls knew who Big Boss was. I was surprised in general that a lot of people recognized him. Then again I don't think it was that a lot of people knew him. It's more that hardly anyone dresses up as him, so the people that DO know him go all out. I ran into a lot of young Big Bosses and had my picture taken with them - the young and the old.
I got interviewed too, but I didn't bother to ask by whom because I was in a rush to meet a friend.
"Who are you?"
"I'm Big Boss."
"And what makes you the Big Boss?"
"I was the greatest soldier of the 20th Century."
After that things got blurry because the interviewer started asking weird questions/saying weird things. I wasn't sure if she was making fun of me or making jokes. Whatever. Bitch.
So I jumped from friend to friend who went to Comic Con too, but I spent most of my time in the end with Brian and three other guys. Brian and I were trying to find the group when we ran into a fat guy wearing a Rebel spacesuit. The first thing we thought was that he was trying to be Porkins from the original Star Wars. Porkins became a cult favorite because he was this fat guy in the movie who got his ship blown up. People photoshopped McDonalds in his cockpit.
So we were like, "PORKINS! NOOOO!"
The guy looks at us like, "lolwut?"
And then Brian and I realize, "Oh, shit, maybe he's not pretending to be Porkins. Maybe he's just fat!"
Brian felt horrible afterward. I just laughed my ass off. The guy was probably trying to be Luke.
That's the thing at Comic Con. There are always two extremes. The immensely nerdy fat guys who fail to dress up and then the hot chicks who are there only to dress up as the scantily-clad women from video games and comics. And then they attract all those fat people. So it's like a food chain of sorts.
I'm that troll who goes around trying to find rare stuff like a rat trying to find cheese.
Like this samurai sword. I've been meaning to buy a samurai sword because I know Kendo, and I want to know how it feels like to really have a sword. I saw this stand and I practically jizzed in my pants and took a picture.
The Asian guy who ran the stand saw me and started shouting, "NO PEEEEKKKTURRRESSS! NO! NO! PUT CAMERA AWAY!"
I was like, "Uh--ah...right, ok."
Then there was this retro video game stand that was there two years ago when I went. I was hoping they'd have Final Fantasy 7. They did - but it's some Japanese import. I mean, that's cool and all - but I'M NOT FUCKING JAPANESE!
So I was bummed out for a while----UNTIL I FOUND ANOTHER RETRO GAME STAND! *GASP*
This was really retro this time. I'm talking NES AND SNES. I jizzed in my pants again and scoured through what they had. The best part was my SNES still worked perfectly.
I thought to myself, "Oh, man, this is so cool. Look at all the SNES games they have!"
They had Lufia, with a subtitle I can't remember. It looked like a great RPG and I always wanted to try Lufia.
"How much is this?"
"Two-hundred."
....
"Uh...what?"
"It's two-hundred."
. . . .
"Wait----how much is this?"
(in a more irate tone after asking a third time) "It's. . . two-hundred."
What the fuck is this shit? Is there like some nuclear device in this cartridge? Is the secret to life embedded in its chips? What the hell, man?
If there weren't so many people, I'd have totally just swiped it off.
And I saved the picture anyway of the samurai stand. In the picture the Asian guy is still shouting at me.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Book of the Day:The Scarlet Pimpernel
Video Game of the Day:Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater
Hero of the Day:Big Boss
Villain of the Day: (technically) Big Boss
Movie of the Day:Goldeneye
Amazing time yesterday at the NYC Comic Con. First of all I went as Big Boss from MGS. The old school Big Boss though, in the trenchcoat and with white hair. It was impossible to get from point A to point B without being stopped by someone shouting, "BIG BOSS! IT'S BIG BOSS! CAN WE TAKE A PICTURE?"
I was surprised how some girls knew who Big Boss was. I was surprised in general that a lot of people recognized him. Then again I don't think it was that a lot of people knew him. It's more that hardly anyone dresses up as him, so the people that DO know him go all out. I ran into a lot of young Big Bosses and had my picture taken with them - the young and the old.
I got interviewed too, but I didn't bother to ask by whom because I was in a rush to meet a friend.
"Who are you?"
"I'm Big Boss."
"And what makes you the Big Boss?"
"I was the greatest soldier of the 20th Century."
After that things got blurry because the interviewer started asking weird questions/saying weird things. I wasn't sure if she was making fun of me or making jokes. Whatever. Bitch.
So I jumped from friend to friend who went to Comic Con too, but I spent most of my time in the end with Brian and three other guys. Brian and I were trying to find the group when we ran into a fat guy wearing a Rebel spacesuit. The first thing we thought was that he was trying to be Porkins from the original Star Wars. Porkins became a cult favorite because he was this fat guy in the movie who got his ship blown up. People photoshopped McDonalds in his cockpit.
So we were like, "PORKINS! NOOOO!"
The guy looks at us like, "lolwut?"
And then Brian and I realize, "Oh, shit, maybe he's not pretending to be Porkins. Maybe he's just fat!"
Brian felt horrible afterward. I just laughed my ass off. The guy was probably trying to be Luke.
That's the thing at Comic Con. There are always two extremes. The immensely nerdy fat guys who fail to dress up and then the hot chicks who are there only to dress up as the scantily-clad women from video games and comics. And then they attract all those fat people. So it's like a food chain of sorts.
I'm that troll who goes around trying to find rare stuff like a rat trying to find cheese.
Like this samurai sword. I've been meaning to buy a samurai sword because I know Kendo, and I want to know how it feels like to really have a sword. I saw this stand and I practically jizzed in my pants and took a picture.
The Asian guy who ran the stand saw me and started shouting, "NO PEEEEKKKTURRRESSS! NO! NO! PUT CAMERA AWAY!"
I was like, "Uh--ah...right, ok."
Then there was this retro video game stand that was there two years ago when I went. I was hoping they'd have Final Fantasy 7. They did - but it's some Japanese import. I mean, that's cool and all - but I'M NOT FUCKING JAPANESE!
So I was bummed out for a while----UNTIL I FOUND ANOTHER RETRO GAME STAND! *GASP*
This was really retro this time. I'm talking NES AND SNES. I jizzed in my pants again and scoured through what they had. The best part was my SNES still worked perfectly.
I thought to myself, "Oh, man, this is so cool. Look at all the SNES games they have!"
They had Lufia, with a subtitle I can't remember. It looked like a great RPG and I always wanted to try Lufia.
"How much is this?"
"Two-hundred."
....
"Uh...what?"
"It's two-hundred."
. . . .
"Wait----how much is this?"
(in a more irate tone after asking a third time) "It's. . . two-hundred."
What the fuck is this shit? Is there like some nuclear device in this cartridge? Is the secret to life embedded in its chips? What the hell, man?
If there weren't so many people, I'd have totally just swiped it off.
And I saved the picture anyway of the samurai stand. In the picture the Asian guy is still shouting at me.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Book of the Day:The Scarlet Pimpernel
Video Game of the Day:Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater
Hero of the Day:Big Boss
Villain of the Day: (technically) Big Boss
Movie of the Day:Goldeneye
Monday, October 4, 2010
Interferons!
I don't know why I made that the title. If you know what those are then kudos to you. And no, looking it up doesn't count.
I really need to make a clear, concise list of things I should do in order and strictly follow them. There's school stuff and then outside school stuff. Ugh. I need to straighten out all these tangled cords in life.
Have any of you played Final Fantasy IX? That game is so fun and yet remarkably easy. I've gotten so far in such a short amount of time. I think that game must have been made for beginners or something. But the story is so enjoyable. Some old critics complained about the story, but I think it's far from cliche.
Here are elements I consider cliche in any RPG:
1 - Evil empire with uprising rebellion
2 - Nameless evil that was only mentioned as a cute passing backstory throughout the game but then *gasp* guess what? That nameless evil turns out to be the one behind everything and was banished and is now trying to break free!
3 - Main character was the victim of evil experiments that he/she can't remember.
4 - Chosen ones/sacred lineages
Final Fantasy IX twists them here and there though. Tales of the Abyss is another odd, unique RPG. But the terminology is so fucking confusing.
"We must obtain the Fon fon hyperressonance of Fon Master Fon Man Fonstone while resonating a fon effect on the Fonstone--"
The player is left as confused as Luke, the main character, who suffers amnesia after being kidnapped, and so his parents locked him in his room for years. So he has no idea about how the world works, which really reflects on how the player has no fucking clue why everything is preceded by the word "fon." The story itself is interesting. A little confusing but reading Luke's journals straighten things up if you're ever lost on what's going on.
I don't feel like writing the whole "Blah blah blah of the Day" thing because I've got lots of studying to do for Immunology.
After Wednesday, there are things I have/want to do right away. And I'm more so writing this for myself as a checklist to strictly follow.
1. Create Secrets of the Scene: Raiders of the Lost Ark Pt. 3
2. Write up the script for my first radio show episode (after I harangue the managers about why it's taking so long for my show to start)
3. Perform miraculous acts of cooking (yay, more experience points!)
4. Start drafting first episode of sitcom-like series for youtube
5. All while reviving my writing
I was going to perform this unofficial experiment on people who stuttered, but that failed because there was a lack of significant patients. I want to think of something else to experiment on, unofficially.
The sitcom idea I had is awkwardly dying, but I'm pushing it in another direction. It won't be some grand, comical set of characters like most shows out there, but it'll still be fun. I don't know, after school started some of my friends just didn't express any interest in it at all, despite how much we talked about it over the summer. Bummer.
And for the record, Final Fantasy XII is completely unbearable. I hate that game. It's one of those games I pretend never happened. They've yet to make Final Fantasy XII.
I really need to make a clear, concise list of things I should do in order and strictly follow them. There's school stuff and then outside school stuff. Ugh. I need to straighten out all these tangled cords in life.
Have any of you played Final Fantasy IX? That game is so fun and yet remarkably easy. I've gotten so far in such a short amount of time. I think that game must have been made for beginners or something. But the story is so enjoyable. Some old critics complained about the story, but I think it's far from cliche.
Here are elements I consider cliche in any RPG:
1 - Evil empire with uprising rebellion
2 - Nameless evil that was only mentioned as a cute passing backstory throughout the game but then *gasp* guess what? That nameless evil turns out to be the one behind everything and was banished and is now trying to break free!
3 - Main character was the victim of evil experiments that he/she can't remember.
4 - Chosen ones/sacred lineages
Final Fantasy IX twists them here and there though. Tales of the Abyss is another odd, unique RPG. But the terminology is so fucking confusing.
"We must obtain the Fon fon hyperressonance of Fon Master Fon Man Fonstone while resonating a fon effect on the Fonstone--"
The player is left as confused as Luke, the main character, who suffers amnesia after being kidnapped, and so his parents locked him in his room for years. So he has no idea about how the world works, which really reflects on how the player has no fucking clue why everything is preceded by the word "fon." The story itself is interesting. A little confusing but reading Luke's journals straighten things up if you're ever lost on what's going on.
I don't feel like writing the whole "Blah blah blah of the Day" thing because I've got lots of studying to do for Immunology.
After Wednesday, there are things I have/want to do right away. And I'm more so writing this for myself as a checklist to strictly follow.
1. Create Secrets of the Scene: Raiders of the Lost Ark Pt. 3
2. Write up the script for my first radio show episode (after I harangue the managers about why it's taking so long for my show to start)
3. Perform miraculous acts of cooking (yay, more experience points!)
4. Start drafting first episode of sitcom-like series for youtube
5. All while reviving my writing
I was going to perform this unofficial experiment on people who stuttered, but that failed because there was a lack of significant patients. I want to think of something else to experiment on, unofficially.
The sitcom idea I had is awkwardly dying, but I'm pushing it in another direction. It won't be some grand, comical set of characters like most shows out there, but it'll still be fun. I don't know, after school started some of my friends just didn't express any interest in it at all, despite how much we talked about it over the summer. Bummer.
And for the record, Final Fantasy XII is completely unbearable. I hate that game. It's one of those games I pretend never happened. They've yet to make Final Fantasy XII.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)